Watching TV, I Mean Really Watching

My husband, Bruce, and I had a full day today 'yawn' we helped our daughter, Suzanne, move into her new apartment.  It was pleasant visiting with her and her current roommate, but we forced ourselves to get back into the car and travel home again.  I was very happy to sit in front of the tube and absorb the entertainment.  It actually became very entertaining because we were watching a detective series that had a scene with a dead guy on an examining table. Wow, right?  It was supposed to be a touching moment -- two women took  turns singing by the corpse and guess what happened?  The dead guy swallowed.  This wasn't part of the movie.  I couldn't believe it because I actually look for stuff like that for fun and never find anything. And this time it actually happened.  Bruce spotted it first (didn't spoil my merriment at all) then when we did a rewind,  we saw the dead guy's pulse really moving and his mouth moved.  I think he was trying not to laugh.  Then the whole scene changed for me--my perception was altered you might say. When we did another rewind, you could see that the women in the room who were supposed to be in a somber mood, were possibly holding laughter back.  Made my whole night.

Laundry

 I have been visiting this laundromat in Evansville these days.  Before our dryer recently broke it had been years since I'd been to a laundromat. I admit my memory is nothing to brag about, but my impression of laundromats wasn't very good for some reason.  I was expecting dirty white walls with finger prints, possibly a broken down soda machine, no air conditioning and a couple of chairs.  The air conditioning and bright colors caught me by surprise!  This laundromat had tables and their soda machine worked.  Wow!  I felt like I'd taken a step into the future.  I guess I had.  The last time I remember being in a laundromat was about twenty years ago.

                                                                                  

As if doing laundry wasn't excitement enough, our doggie Annabelle played with a sock.  She knew she had something pretty special when I tried in earnest to take it away.  I decided not to get frustrated over something as silly as a sock and took pictures of her instead.  She was moving around quite a bit, but I think I captured some of her finer moments.

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?



A person I drove by in Evansville a couple of years ago.  Look at his hand-- he has a wedding ring on his finger.

My brother, Nathaniel, is out there somewhere and there is nothing I can do about it.  He is calm.  He does not want to hurt himself or anybody else.  Legally he isn't a threat and can't be brought in for treatment against his will.  But, believe me there is pain.  He went almost a week without eating (he told us he was fasting) and is now without a car and on foot.  We are suffering as a family because we love him.  We want him to have the medicine he needs, a roof over his head, food and water. When I think of my brother -- I think of the guy with a great sense of humor, a person that's thoughtful and caring.  I think about all the shared memories we had as kids.  And then  I think of him walking around in this heat (they're having a heat wave in Minnesota too).  I wonder if he's able to get enough water?  The whole family wonders how he's managing. Where is he sleeping?  Is he safe?  He is bipolar, creative, intelligent and right now not very "with it."  The bad thing about this condition, in my opinion, is it sneaks up on you.  When a person is manic, they are confident and really don't have a sense of cause and effect. 

I can tell you-- I think about homeless people in a completely different way now.  There was a time I had the opinion that soup kitchens and churches ,etc. were enabling these people to be the way they are.  I thought if they didn't get free meals they'd be forced to do something about their condition.  Now I know I was wrong.  My brother would wither and die if it wasn't for the goodness of strangers.  He wouldn't understand that he was killing himself slowly.  There is a heatwave now and that is bad. But, I'm actually thinking down the road to winter.  People around here would be astonished at how cold a Minnesota winter can be.  It's tough when you're all bundled up and braced for a quick walk from the car to the store.  What if you were homeless and living out in it?  Right now I'm wondering-- will my brother survive the winter? 







 Nathaniel thinks that things are going really well with him.  He's writing (it would be interesting to see) and feels more intelligent and creative than normal.  He lives in the moment.  I'm sure winter hasn't even entered his mind, but lots of other cool stuff has.

Oh God bring him back to us...





Challenges

                                                                        

I have been procrastinating on my personal writing projects.  Why I wonder?  Well- if you count all the thinking I do on them maybe I'm not procrastinating--I'm actually hard at work.  I'm "working" on several different kinds of projects.  Some I thought could be graphic novels, but I've decided I have no chance on them getting published that way so I'm thinking they will be picture books or chapter books.  The characters are based off my children.

 I always read to my children before bed when they were young.  It was something I enjoyed and believe me they did too!  In the summer we often went camping, there was a problem when we did this.  I didn't want to bring all those books into the tent.  So what I did was tell them stories using made up characters based on their personalities; the ones I use for these picture books/chapter book. 

When I sent my chapter book, using those characters, out years ago, I actually received a phone call from an editor from a major publishing company.  The call was a mystery to me--I thought it was a prank call at first, but then he sent my manuscript back to me shortly after the call as he said he would.  That should have been very encouraging, right?  However, when I tell that story to others, I'm pretty sure they don't believe me.  That makes me sad and I am discouraged. I also think that others look for my errors and are even more critical.  Whoever that editor was  tried to encourage me I think or maybe he was feeling me out on the phone and I failed that phone interview miserably. Gosh I was stunned--I didn't even thank him. Whatever his intentions, he planted the seed in my mind to write a YA novel.  I've been trying since then.  My biggest help is my creative mind--it is also my biggest drawback. 

Like other writers, I grasp at anything that seems positive. I've had other "positive" experiences-- usually no one believes me (or at least that is how I perceive their reaction).  Then I get full of self doubt.  Could this be the reason I stall? 




  

The Fourth of July




I  enjoy the fireworks our neighbors shoot off on the 4th of July!  The picture above was taken from our deck off the second floor.  It's  difficult capturing fireworks with my digital camera  because of the 2 second delay that happens after I push the button.  A few of my pictures were completely black.  Trust me it was a good show!   I  wonder how much people spend on fireworks... 

 

                                                                                               

Another Fourth of July

As we celebrate the birth of our nation

Let us not forget the many brave men and women

Who fought and died to preserve that dream of our forefathers

... A dream of liberty for all

And those who are fighting yet. Never forget their efforts...

No matter how big or small

To them we owe a debt that we can never repay

Thank them

For all the freedoms that we are blessed with today

Tonight... as you see the fireworks

That honor America

... Remember them

For without those that serve...

This dream of liberty

Would be but a whim...

By Faye Sizemore

Janine's been busy!

My daughter Janine has been busy planting flowers.  She has big plans for this area.



Here she is holding her dog Annabelle.  She bought and planted those rose bushes for
me for mother's day one year.  I appreciate what she does in the yard!  Look how dark
her skin is!  She spends a lot of time out in the hot Indiana sun planting and watering both at
home and at Colonial Gardens where she works.